The Meaning of Milestones

I have always set goals in my life and actively set out to achieve each one of them. My hard work has consistently paid off as I have successfully accomplished what I set out to do in all areas of my life. My journey to achieve my goals has not come without detours, challenges and bumps in the road. I have been tested and temporarily derailed at times, yet my sense of determination has lead me to move beyond roadblocks and continue my path forward towards my goal. My goals in life have centered around this particular vision I have of what I believe I am meant to do, my purpose and who I see myself as. I have created this vision of myself and my life and never thought in a million years competing as an amateur boxer would be part of this plan.

The funny thing about life is it hands you opportunities just when you are ready for them or when you need to learn something more about yourself. As you have heard me say before life never gives you more than you can handle. On my journey as an amateur boxer this could not be more true. Each step of the way, with each training session, sparring session, and competition life has given me a little bit more of a test. With each step came anxiety, some fear, doubt, excitement, unknown and potential. I have gone through this journey with the mindset of wanting to test myself and simply wanting to become a better boxer. Win or lose I want to know that I am doing my best and coming closer to my potential.

Each step is a milestone. There is your first step into a boxing gym, then your first training session, to be followed by your first sparring session, next your first intense/competition sparring session and then your first fight. You train and train, working hard and you make progress...then at each milestone you experience two things. You experience pride for reaching the milestone and you simultaneously experience regression. Those couple steps back from the progress you have made. This is part of the process in life and in the ring. We move forward making progress and then we are tested and take steps back. But this is okay and to be expected. We find out here what we are made of and what we need to work on.

The meaning of milestones become very evident to me during my recent first experience competing at the Chicago Golden Gloves Tournament. Prior to the tournament I had a record of 4-0. I had gotten over my first fight jitters, competing in the unknown of private shows, my first stoppage and more. I had made many strides forward and back. I never would have thought that tournament fighting would have been such a milestone. I have been in front of crowds, dealt with the pressure I put on myself, and performed, but this was different. I was actually competing for a championship. It felt almost like my first fight all over again. It's crazy what adrenaline can do to you!

It was almost surreal. A year prior I would have never imagined competing let alone competing in the Chicago Golden Gloves! And here I am getting ready to step into the ring to win the championship in my division. Looking back now I understand my anxiety...it was yet another first. And when we are doing something for the first time and stepping out of our comfort zone we come up against fear, nerves, excitement, apprehension, anticipation, doubt and more. We have to go through firsts to become our best. We have to go through these milestones, these uncomfortable experiences to truly realize our potential.

Competing in this tournament was definitely a milestone in my life. It showed me I can do this. I can box, I can compete, I can move beyond my fear and anxiety and do things that make me uncomfortable. I can overcome and I can succeed. And though I am more than proud of myself for competing and winning, the most important thing that comes to me is what I learned about myself. With each milestone I grow as a person and a boxer. Despite the fact that I must say the championship fight was not my best performance, I now realize even more clearly the mental piece of the game. I realize the impact of firsts and milestones. I realize how progress is made. Fighting and life play by the same rules much of the time. As we move forward we must at times step back.

Warrior Fighting Sports & Fitness is proud to announce that Coach Jess took home the victory! She is the 2010 132lbs Female Senior Novice Chicago Golden Gloves Champion! We are very proud of her and grateful to all our supporters! This was a big step for her and as you read above a milestone. She will be the first to tell you competing truly tests you and you grow more than you ever imagined you could!

Discipline vs. Willpower

The difference between discipline and willpower first came to my awareness when I began studying Intuitive Eating (a anti-diet philosophy). The area of dieting runs rampant with the word willpower. In commercials, print ads, and conversation regarding diets and weight loss we hear the importance of willpower preached over and over again. The problem with willpower can be found in its definition. According to Intuitive Eating authors Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole, "Willpower can be defined as an attempt to counter natural desires and replace them with proscriptive rules." Using this definition it's easy to see how willpower can only take us so far because at some point our natural desires will supersede what we are telling ourselves we should do. Willpower can even induce rebellion, it has a connotation of being unpleasant.

Now I am not trying to bash the idea of willpower. I am all for "where there is a will there's a way." We do need the "will" to accomplish what we set out to accomplish. Yet we must realize that our will to accomplish must align with our deep values. In Intuitive Eating they point out why willpower does not work with diets. Diets tell us certain foods are forbidden and bad, and we need willpower to avoid those foods. Yet if deep down we don't, rightfully so, believe a food is bad we will eventually "given in" to temptation. It is much easier for us to follow what we deeply believe in rather than that which seems counter to our values. (check out the book Intuitive Eating p. 51 for more explanation)

So what makes discipline different from willpower?

In the athlete's world we hear much more talk about discipline than willpower. Athletes are said to have discipline or lack it. And having discipline is part of what leads to success and makes champions. Now with that said athletes sometimes have to do things that don't align with natural desires and have to do things that are rigid and rule bound. They must have a level of willpower to overcome pain, discomfort, etc. And while this is true possessing discipline again is what creates champions.

The author's of Intuitive Eating refer to the work of Stephen Covey when explaining the concept of discipline. Covey's work explains that "if you are a disciple to your own deep values that have an overriding purpose, it's likely that you'll have the will to carry them out." (Intuitive Eating, p. 51). It is much easier to do what you set out to do when it aligns with your own values. This requires that you begin to take a look at what your values are, what you believe in and what gives you purpose.

An athlete can only will him/herself to train hours a day if doing so aligned with a deeper belief. I find this true for myself. I have trained for recreational purposes and competitively for many years and have been asked how I do it. How do I train daily without fail even when I don't want to? I value strength, self-reliance, health, preparedness, respect, accountability, and being my personal best. Training daily is part of living those values. I gain the will to carry out my daily training because of the level of importance those values have for me.

This is different for every athlete and every individual. Some athletes and individuals do not easily will themselves to do what they are even paid to do. While other athletes, who are talented champions, would not think of not following their training programs. In life and in sport the more we can focus on our values or behaviors will most likely come more easily. When we act in a way that does not align with our values we will feel conflict and even at time unhappiness.

So whether you are training for competition or health, ask yourself why? What do you value? Are you following those values? Or are you just trying to use willpower to get yourself to do something you don't deeply believe?

Warrior Fighting Sports & Fitness is a training facility designed to lead you on a path to success in and out of the ring. Our students and coaches are here to help you discover what more about yourself than you thought you could. You will discover what you value and how to challenge yourself to get what you want out of life.